why are some peoples lives harder than others

That's not at all how things work. Anxious kids are more likely to want to get out of situations that make them uncomfortable. We are all born into different circumstances, socio-economic conditions, and families and that is just the way that it is, but the choices and decisions that we make within our lives is what truly makes the difference. Research suggests theres truth to regional stereotypes in the U.S. with some caveats. These beliefs impact how people respond to setbacks. When I have travelled to poorer countries and experienced various cultures, I often would return home very grateful for all that I have and for the opportunities that I have in my home country in comparison to other places. Im talking mass shootings, hurricanes, spinal cord injuries, things like that, he said. Coping with alexithymia is an area where perfect shouldnt be the enemy of good. To some extent, all basic survival adaptations can be seen as the biological foundations of a selfish approach to life. Because its not a condition or disorder, per se, you wont find it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the bible of psychiatric conditions. A March 2023 study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that people who are high in alexithymia qualities are less likely to use adaptive emotional regulation strategies such as cognitive reappraisal and seeking social support and more likely to use maladaptive strategies, such as suppressing their emotions and withdrawing from other people. Writing about what they took away from the rejection, one study participant said: Lots of emotional pain. We love to believe in free willand I'd say it's important to do so in our daily lives. Response from: Fr. If we believe that God is a God of love, mercy and compassion we will not see our daily struggles as harder than others, but rather see struggles and challenges as that which we are required to face that day. To say that were under assault from internet ads to billboards to the chattering of street noise is an understatement. Humans tend to have dominance hierarchies that emerge in many group contexts. BGEA is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. He may have convinced himself that his nephew really was the bestin spite of other evidence. This mutation at one time was helpful for our species. Loneliness and isolation are factors in physical and mental health. Tags: mental health, psychiatry, psychology, relationships, stress, anxiety, Elaine K. Howley and Anna Medaris MillerMay 17, 2023. We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow us. Links may be affiliate links. In reality, regardless of what you've got and who you are, life is hardnot impossiblebut hard. Part of the skill-building comes from exposure to very difficult but manageable experiences, like the one my children and I had. Different traumas at different ages have their own impacts on our perceptions, interpretations and expectations; these early experiences sculpt the brain, because it is a use-dependent organ, he said. Getting effective treatment for alexithymia can be tricky because people with the condition have trouble labeling or discussing their emotions. Highly resilient people have a solid sense of what they consider right and wrong, and it tends to guide their decisions. Do you avoid things that cause you discomfort or anxiety? What I found when I arrived was my ex-husband, dead on his bathroom floor. Early attachments to parents play a crucial, lifelong role in human adaptation. After my own tragic experience, I headed back to school for a masters degree in social work. The stories we tell ourselves about rejection, in other words, can shape how, and how well, we cope with it. She hails from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. How we navigate a crisis or traumatic event (and the coronavirus has many characteristics of trauma because it is unpredictable and uncontrollable) depends, in large part, on how resilient we are. These challenges could be financial, emotional, physical or spiritual; but, if we can trust in Gods mercy and love, we can learn to face these situations with peace of heart and mind. They worried that future relationships would continue to fail, voicing fears that no matter how hard they tried, they would not be able to find someone new to love them. You are selfish. Some processes, like quantum tunneling, have been shown to occur instantaneously. A strategy that has helped Johnson tune in to her emotions is to notice the physical sensations that accompany certain feelings. Despite beatings, imprisonment, harsh and cruel treatment, St. Paul was able to say: Rejoice always,pray without ceasing,give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). A few years ago, right when I moved back to DC, I entered into a depressive episode. An effective way to expand your emotional awareness on your own is to consciously question your emotions: If you think youre feeling stressed, ask yourself what other two emotions you might be feeling (perhaps frustration and anxiety), then consider why you're feeling that way, David suggests. It may be daunting to work on upgrading your emotional awareness and intelligence, but its worth the effort. To learn more about how we keep our content accurate and trustworthy, read oureditorial guidelines. I wanted to help someone I cared about, someone who was sick with an illness he was hiding. The way I got through that was to narrow my thinking. In 1980, Alhabib was part of a wave of Tuaregs who received military training from Gaddafi, which he put to use a decade later when his people revolted against the Malian government. Yet, there are situations that could be so devastating and overwhelming that they are beyond our strength to overcome or to regard with peace of heart and mind. Boys Are Awesome and the Best Way to Love Them, The Art of Adapting to the Needs of Your Children. In Rabbinic Judaism, God created Adam, a single man, to teach us that whoever destroyed a single life would be punished as though he had destroyed the world. A person might think: I was bad at communicating in the relationship; I guess I just can't open up to people. Two-thirds were able to function very well in a short period of time., Eilene Zimmerman is author of the memoir Smacked: A Story of White-Collar Ambition, Addiction and Tragedy.. Back then, I thought we would never really recover, that our lives would always be stained with this terrible sadness. This occurred even though these mice were still eating the same portions and exercising as much as they were before. Neurologically speaking, humans are capable of processing 120 bits of information per second. So this priest sat me down and answered my question: Why is one life seemingly harder than another? Without so much as asking my creed, let alone if I believed in God, he replied with a simple explanation that has stuck with me for years. May the psalmists words become yours: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me (Psalm 23:4). Both groups have glasses, and although they are different sizes, one glass is not better than the other. Our ancestors who took care of themselves were more likely than others to become ancestors. Hunger is a basic adaptation that works similarly in all of us. Alexithymia, not being able to express feelings or understand other people's emotions, can have a huge emotional impact. Genes influence the behaviour that helps people choose their environment. Its just part of life.. And of course its worse for women than men. Dr. Bennett discovered this gene, and a former PhD. I would first respond by saying that it is all in one's perspective. Theres one problem however, no one knows how the gene works. Believing in the potential for change, however, might meant that the discovery of a negative quality instead prompts personal growth. Although it was discovered in mice, researchers believe this mutation is present across many mammalian species, including our own. The problem is, if you only know the term Tuareg from the recent extremism in Mali, youd probably have missed the nuances of what that culture entails and how good a large portion of the population is. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Self-care is not selfish. In addition, difficulty with emotional processing is common among people with autism spectrum disorder. In my fieldwork now as a social work student, I provide support for people who have cancer also a traumatic experience and I often counsel them to stay grounded in the present moment and focus on their strengths, because imagining every worst-case scenario is pointless and only increases anxiety. Exercise and dieting have left me frustrated. Why do humans make it harder for other humans to simply exist? Thats the opposite of how it should be, experts say. Research suggests that approximately 10% of people in the general population have alexithymia and up to 30% of teenagers have the condition. The real issue, however, is how we react to them. Dr. Southwick says resilient people reappraise a difficult situation and look for meaningful opportunities within it. It was, without question, the most traumatic event of my life, but not only mine. One of the greatest pleasures of being in a relationship is that it can broaden a person's sense of self by exposing them to things outside of their usual routines. If someone with alexithymia is feeling anxious and experiencing muscle tension or heart palpitations, they might attribute their symptoms to feeling tired or having a heart problem, says Morie. Instead of worrying about what life would be like next week or month or year How long would it take to get through probate? Studies show that people consistently overestimate how much, and how badly,others think abouttheir failings. Since the person doesn't know what's causing it, it becomes more distressing.. Why are some people's lives objectively harder than others? If you are like me, then you often wonder why people aren't generally really happy after all, we have cars, TVs, smartphones, pets, and endless supplies of food. I dont honestly know all the reasons why some people seem to have it harder in life than others. I try to tell myself that it wasnt my fault and that it was that persons loss but I cant help but feel inadequate., Many of these stories were similar to the ones Id heard from friends after their own breakups. The way I think about it is that there are temperamental or personality characteristics that are genetically influenced, like risk-taking, or whether youre an introvert or extrovert, said Karestan Koenen, professor of psychiatric epidemiology at Harvards T.H. Sometimes it's a granting. Regardless, these are all lives unfortunately caught in the crossfire, and those lives matter. In other words, someone with alexithymia may recognize that they are feeling upset, stressed or troubled but not be able to pinpoint or describe the exact emotion theyre feeling.
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