what tehillim to say at cemetery

[411] If one did so for the sake of the cemetery, [such as for the sake of tidying the lawn of the cemetery] then the cut produce is to be burnt. [brought in Heishiv Moshe 13], [207] Shach Y.D. (3) Upon reaching the grave, one should place his left hand on the marker. [272] Aruch Hashulchan ibid; Nitei Gavriel 85:10, [273] Radbaz 2:296, brought in Beir Heiytiv 224:8, [274] Halachos Ketanos 1:212, brought in Beir Heiytiv ibid; Yad Eliyahu 31, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 224:9; Aruch Hashulchan 224:8; MB 224:16; Piskeiy Teshuvos 224:10; Nitei Gavriel 85:2 concludes to recite without Shem Umalchus, [276] Peri Haretz 1:7, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 224:4, Shaareiy Teshuvah 224:9, Kaf Hachaim 224:37; Nitei Gavriel 85:9, [277] Tzeror Hakesef 1, brought in Birkeiy Yosef ibid, Shaareiy Teshuvah ibid, Kaf Hachaim ibid; Amudei Or 4; Sdei Chemed Asifas Dinim Brachos 2:17, [278] Kaf Hachaim ibid; Betzel Hachochmah 2:14; Piskeiy Teshuvos 224:11, [279] Maharikash in name of Radbaz 3:569, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 224:5, Shaareiy Teshuvah 224:9; Mamar Mordechai 224:4; Nimukei Orach Chaim 224 that this applies according to all; Aruch Hashulchan 224:8; Kaf Hachaim 224:39; Piskeiy Teshuvos 224:11; Rishonim and Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 85:6 footnote 13, [281] Birkeiy Yosef ibid in name of Halachos Ketanos, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 224:9; Rav SZA in Halichos Shlomo 23:34, [282] Mahariy Asad Y.D. After washing, any water that remains in the vessel is poured out. What is one to do if he is unable to visit the cemetery for the Yahrzeit? 20 Some of these customs do not have a halachic source; they are based on Kabbalistic writings and customs. You tend to see that one almost everywhere else. [371] Implication of Michaber 367:3 In his hand and read from it, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 282:4; [373] Rama ibid; Terumos Hadeshen 2:25 in name of Sefer Chassidim, [374] Shach 343:3; Terumos Hadeshen 25 in name of Sefer Chassidim, [377] Besi Lechem Yehuda 3243; See Rama 385:1, The reason: As the greetings of today are not considered like the greetings of back then. Why speed of light is considered to be the fastest? All the more so is it forbidden to say a blessing over food in a cemetery.]. 367:2; Brachos 18a; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 45:1, [336] Admur 45:2; Michaber O.C. One then says Psalm 119 in accordance to the name of the deceased and the name of his mother, as well as the word Neshamah. Going to sleep, the preparations, Krias Shma etc. One may not greet others in a cemetery while [a burial is taking place and] the deceased is in the cemetery. Yahrzeit: One who has a Yahrzeit on Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah or Purim is to visit the grave on Erev Rosh Chodesh/Purim/Chanukah, or the day after Rosh Chodesh/Purim/Chanukah. Many who do so do not visit the cemetery again on the day of the Yahrzeit during that first year. Stack Exchange network consists of 182 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. [Michaber 179:14; See Beis Yosef 179 in length in negation of Yireim ibid and his proofs, however see Darkei Moshe ibid, Shach ibid and Birkeiy Yosef ibid for arguments against his negations], [30] Explanation of Beis Yosef 179:14 to Maaseh Deshmuel and Ruchos Misapros The case of Shmuel [the Amora] was done while he was awake and through Hashems names.. Learn all the pertinent laws -- . It is customary to light a candle on the Kever, being that on it resides the soul of the deceased. 382; Elya Raba 23:3; Pischeiy Olam 23:4; Kaf Hachaim 23:8; Poskim ibid. [Shach 368:1], [382] Chasam Sofer 335, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 368:1, [384] The reason: This is forbidden to be done due to the prohibition of Kalus Rosh, and the obligation to respect the deceased. They are only moving verses. One who has not visited the grave of a parent in seven years is to send a messenger to the grave to notify the parent of his arrival. However even regarding this matter he concludes that one is to fix whatever is able to be fixed and hence he directed that in Haditch a Mechitza is to be established to allow Kohanim to come to the Ohel even Rabbinically. The Jewish prayer for healing - Unpacked Women: See Nitei Gavriel 84:9 for a dispute regarding if this applies also to married women who did not visit. [131] However, today the custom is to allow visiting graves on Rosh Chodesh. Saying Tehillim The Right Way. [460]], Some are accustomed to immersing in a Mikveh after visiting a cemetery. [See Kovetz Beis Aaron Veyisrael 76 p. 116], [193] Nitei Gavriel 91:2 that so is the ruling of most Gedolei Yisrael [Admurim of Belz; Satmar; Lubavitch; Rav Moshe Feinstein; Minchas Yitzchak; Rav SZA. [Gilyon Maharsha ibid; Rambam 14:13]. The Rebbe was witnessed to follow the former custom upon visiting the grave of his brother in-law, the Rashag, by his first Yahrzeit. When I was starting to become observant, at the end of shacharis one day, someone asked me "are you finished with tehillim?". [See Pnei Baruch and Nitei Gavriel 65 footnote 36-37 and 76:9]. The Minchas Elazar ibid uses this as a proof that it is allowed to do so. - . The prayer on the grave: When one arrives at the grave, some are accustomed to recite the following prayer near the grave May it be G-ds will that the resting place of so and so be with honor and may his merit stand for me in my favor[293] Upon placing the left hand on the grave, one is to say the verse in Yeshayah 58:11:[294], , After the above verse is recited, one says Tishkav Beshalom Ad Ba Menachem Mashmiei Shalom. [The above prayers are omitted from the Chabad Seder of Maaneh Lashon, and are seemingly not recited according to our custom. Why specifically these chapters and why in this specific order (as opposed to the order in which they appear in Tehillim)? May one enter into a morgue wearing Tallis and Tefillin? [227] No such prohibition or warning is mentioned in any of the Poskim. [158] Vetzaruch Iyun regarding the Shloshim and end of 12 months if one should go the day before or the day after. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. He lives with his wife and family in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel. Saying Tehillim The Right Way - The Jewish Press The reason: The burial grounds of Tzaddikim do not give off Tuma. A Letter from the Rebbe to a Pidyon Haben - , The time when the upsherenish takes place - , Upsherenish: What to prepare - : , The order of cutting and the Rebbe's letter - . One may certainly visit the grave of Tzaddik on Rosh Chodesh to pray for an ill person. [248] The Rebbe once told a Bochur who ate prior to visiting the Ohel that he needs mercy/Rachmanus. Realize instances but keeping the material. p. 99; Orchos Chaim of Rav Avraham Halevi; Shulchan Hatahor 224:5; Kitzur SHUA 60:12; Birchas Habayis 29:8; Aruch Hashulchan 224:8; Keren Ledavid 58; Yabia Omer 5:7; Beir Moshe 2:17; Many Rishonim and Achronim in Nitei Gavriel 73:4 footnote 10-11; 85:4-8; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 224:11 footnote 58], [264] The reason: As all the corpses have the same status and all receive the same judgment. [198] Yoreh Deah 371:5; Igros Kodesh 6:348; Ishkavta Derebbe p. 106. [ibid]. [396] See that one who reads the writing on a grave forgets his learning; explains that this is specifically by protruding letters. The Yahrzeit Organization - PastQuestion's and Answers [Others, however, are not accustomed to visit the cemetery at the end of the Shloshim.[67]]. 13. The reason: Although it is forbidden to recite a blessing while inside the cemetery or within four Amos of a grave due to Loeg Larash [See Michaber Y.D. ], Many have a custom to place a stone on the grave prior to leaving. Some Poskim[331] rule it is permitted to do so. [Ishkavta Derebbe ibid], [455] Thus, those who visit the Rebbes Ohel in Queens must wash hands afterwards being that it is within a cemetery. Will County officials say county action won't stop construction [71] By a leap year, it falls one month before the Yahrzeit. One is not allowed to visit the same gravesite twice in one day. There are additional prayers Breslov Hassidim say together with them. Zayis Ranan 2:27; Rav Shmuel Salant [is Biblical prohibition], brought in Tzitz Eliezer 10:1; Nisivei Am [Minhagei Yerushalayim Beis Keil] 372; Yalkut Yosef 7:281 in name of Yabia Omer and Yechaveh Daas, [192] See Tzitz Eliezer 16:18 [Many Gedolim allowed Kohanim to visit Kever Rachel]; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2:91-2 footnote 3 for opinions that allowed going to Kever Rachel; Rav Yaakov Bloy zl of the Eida Hachareidis stated that many are lenient regarding these areas. (7), Within four amos [6-8 feet] of a grave:(8), Before taking leave of a grave it is customary to put a stone or some grass on the marker. Personalized Tehillim to be said at a cemetery when visiting a grave. [3] One can download a PDF of the Chabad Maaneh Lashon [Kehos 2000] at: www.hebrewbooks.org:15693, [4] See in length Sefer Hilula Detzadikaya and Inyanei Hilula Derashbi, printed in Taamei Haminhagim, for many sources on the custom of visiting Kevarim and Kivrei Tzadikim. [159] See Nitei Gavriel ibid; Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259; Directive of Rebbe to asker to visit the Kever on Erev Rosh Chodesh Nissan, brought in Hiskashrus 609:18, Shulchan Menachem 5:329, The reason: Perhaps this is due to that the side of Gevura and evil is stronger at night and hence we avoid entering the area. The meals during Shiva - , 11. One is not to eat any food prior to visiting a grave site. That however only refers to a case that the Aveilus is ending on Purim, as then people will mistakenly think that Purim ends Aveilus. One is to place specifically his left hand on the grave. The Rebbe then asked him why he does so and he did not reply. It is a Jewish custom dating back to Biblical times, to visit the burial grounds of ones relatives. [225] This is the widespread custom followed by women regarding going on Lag Baomer to Meiron, that they are only stringent when seeing the actual flow.[226]. Its always a good idea to say Tehillim in times of need. See Chapter 9 Halacha 1 for the full details of this matter! [Nonetheless, some are accustomed to visit the cemetery on Chol Hamoed, or after Yom Tov. The customs when visiting a cemetery - ; 4. It was hence not practical to require them to remove all their clothing upon entering a cemetery. [Shach 385:2; See also MA 554:21; Rav Akiva Eiger 385:1] Some Poskim however justify this custom based on the fact that majority of todays greetings do not involve saying the word Shalom but rather simply good morning and the like, and these greetings are not prohibited under Sheilas Shalom. This blessing is recited only once within any thirty-day period. If there are no corpses in the room, then it is allowed. 45:1 and Y.D. Some Poskim[279] rule that a new blessing is to be repeated even within thirty days if a new grave was added. Some Poskim[22] have understood that this prohibition includes a restriction against visiting graves and praying there, due to it being similar to the exhuming of the dead. Likewise, he is to give charity prior to the visitation. [229] See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2 85:5-12; Shulchan Menachem 5:328, [230] Custom recorded in Tirosh Veyitzhar 146; Dudaei Sadeh 38; Mishmeres Shalom Hei 132 [however states that if never went before then permitted]; Maharam Brisk 44; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote, The reason: The reason for this is due to worry that the parent will be particular over the fact the child has not visited in so long and may even cause a persecution against the child above. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. This custom, however, does not have any known source, and is not required to be abided by. One who suffers from mental illness is to avoid visiting graves and cemeteries. ], One may not greet others in a cemetery while [a burial is taking place and] the deceased is in the cemetery. See Halacha C for the full details of this subject! Practically, one is to avoid wearing a revealed Tallis Gadol anywhere within the parameters of a cemetery, even if the Tzitzis are covered.[333]. [See Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeishev 22; Kaf Hachaim 670/23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 670/1], [152] As rules MA ibid regarding Purim itself, [153] Nitei Gavriel Pesach 3/8 [p. 54]; Aveilus 83:8-9, [154] See Nitei Gavriel ibid; Gesher Hachaim 1 p. 259, [157] Nitei Gavriel Pesach 3/8 [p. 54]; Aveilus 76:17; 83:8-9. 367:3 Even by heart one may not read words of Torah unless it is done for the honor of the dead; 344:17 It is permitted to speak words of Torah in relation to the deceased and in respect of the deceased even within his four cubits.; Radbaz Chadashos 254; Birkeiy Yosef 344:7 So is the custom amongst all Israel to say a Derush in front of the deceased and before the Kever and learn Torah there in his merit; Zechor Leavraham Lamed; Misgeres Hashulchan 344; Sdei Chemed 115; Kaf Hachaim 23:1 If one learns by the Kever in honor of the deceased, there is no prohibition of Loeg Larash, as he is doing so for his honor.; Minchas Elazar ibid that we Daven by Kivrei Tzaddikim in their honor and to elevate their soul and receive their assistance in elevating our prayers to Heaven; See Pesach Hadvir 45:4; Gesher Hachaim 29:10; Nitei Gavriel 76:8, Other opinions: See Tosfos Bava Kama 16b from whom it is implied that one may not learn Torah near a Kever even in honor of the deceased, unless he is a distance of four Amos from the grave. [316] [The Rebbe would circle the grave one time prior to leaving. [33], As stated above, the custom of visiting the burial grounds of a Tzaddik is Biblically sourced, and has been done throughout the generations. 367:4; Brachos 18b regarding Tefillin and a Sefer Torah; Rabbeinu Yonah ibid, [323] The reason: As it appears like one is scoffing at the dead, as it expresses that they are poor and exempt from Mitzvos and are not able to fulfill them, while we do fulfill them. [297] Bach Y.D. [128] Vetzaruch Iyun regarding the Shloshim and end of 12 months if one should go the day before or the day after. Holidays in middle of Shiva - , 15. 29 [p. 259]; Nitei Gavriel 83:3 footnote 3; Daas Torah 581 [brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid], The reason: As the avoidance is only to prostrate oneself on the grave and recite the accustomed lamentations [Maaneh Lashon]. [MA 4:20 in name of Teshuvos Maharil 23; Kol Bo; Chayeh Adam 2:5; Kitzur SHA 2:9; MB 4:42; Gesher Hachaim 16:8; Kaf Hachaim 4:76; Piskeiy Teshuvos 4:25]. [437] Rav Asher Lemel HaKohen, Rav of Anash Beitar, related to me that one time his father, the renowned Posek Rav Avraham Hirsh Hakohen approached the sink to wash his hands on the upper floor of 770. tefilla minhag tehilim-psalms Share Improve this question Follow A miscarriage under 40 days old - ' , 2. Gesher Hachaim 29:8 that so is the custom of many not to visit graves; Custom of Brisk and Chazon Ish and Steipler; See Nitei Gavriel 82:7 footnote 15], [25] Michaber Y.D. [48]], It is customary to visit the gravesite of deceased relatives, due to the reasons enumerated in Halacha 1B. The Mind of God guides me. Leaving Eretz Yisrael to visit Kivrei Tzadikim:[42] It is permitted to temporarily leave Eretz Yisrael for the sake of visiting the graves of Tzadikim in the Diaspora. [150] Vetzaruch Iyun regarding the Shloshim and end of 12 months if one should go the day before or the day after. [366] 4) Learning and Davening by the Avos and Imahos is permitted, as they lived prior to the giving of the Torah and hence the concept of Loeg Larash does not apply to them. [433] Implication of Taz ibid that only a temporary walk over is permitted; However, see Yad Eliyahu 54, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2, who implies that even standing on a grave for the sake of a Mitzvah is permitted. [Hosafos to Sichas Kodesh 5710 p. 226] In Igros Kodesh 24:263 the Rebbe implies that if one does eat beforehand, it is better that he does not visit the Ohel. Vetzaruch Iyun if there is any practical ramification between graves or a cemetery. [234] Likewise, the child is to separate charity in honor of the parent prior to visiting.[235]. [23:1; Brachos 18a] The souls of the dead stand above their grave and are able to see the Tzitzis if they are revealed. 13, 2023 at 9:00 PM PDT | Updated: moments ago. 179:13 and Bach 217:51, that Those who make a vow to visit the cemetery, it slightly seems like Doresh El Hameisim, as the allowance of Kaleiv was because it was a holy place of the Avos and he wanted his prayers to be heard. One of the reasons mentioned is in order so they pray on our behalf], [36] Zohar Terumah p. 141b; Achareiy Mos p. 70. Many poskim say that Tehillim is not included in this inyan at all. Some are accustomed to throw grass or earth behind their back after leaving a cemetery. How to vet a potential financial advisor to avoid being scammed? Practically, one is to wash his hands afterwards. Like a fast - reciting Sefer Tehillim 3 times in one day; Keeping out of Gehinnom - 25; To rectify all personal flaws and will be guaranteed a place in Olam HaBo - memorize the entire Tehillim; To be worthy of Olam HaBo - recite the entire Tehillim daily; Beis Olam - 16, 17, 28, 33, 34, 4th book, 91, 104, 111, 112, 119-38, 145-50. Other Poskim[332] rule it is forbidden to do so by a Tallis Gadol. Emotional Moment for Beijing Shliach at Chinese Cemetery There are those who rule that visiting the gravesites of Tzaddikim is an exception, and may be visited anytime throughout the month. Perek Lamed- 30. [203] Those who have received such a custom are to abide by it. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. Rabbi Rosenfeld's son Zvi recently published his first book, The Ring of Fate, a riveting, fast-paced fantasy novel which is also completely kosher in both language and subject matter. It is mentioned in the Talmud. [See Minchas Elazar 1:68; Toras Chaim Sofer 581:12; Nitei Gavriel 82:9], [60] MA 696:5 in name of Maharash Levi 13:25; Michaber 344:20 based on Tur and Rav Haiy Gaon regarding a Chacham, Aluf, Vegaon, and some are accustomed to do so for all deceased relatives as brought in MA ibid; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 136:17 footnote 25; Volume 2 81:2, [61] Aruch Hashulchan 344:12 that this Minhag is no longer practiced today, [62] Kol Bo brought in Beir Hagoleh Yoreh Deah 344:20 [regarding Rosh Chodesh even if falls on seventh of Shiva] Shaar Hayichudim of Arizal p. 5 [the souls are not by the graves]; Alef Hamagen 581:110; Mishmeres Shalom 5:129, [63] Gesher Hachaim; Nitei Gavriel 136:19, [65] Implication of Arizal in Taamei Hamitzvos Parshas Vayechi; Directive of Minchas Yitzchak; Nitei Gavriel 81:1, [66] Michaber 344:20 based on Tur and Rav Haiy Gaon regarding a Chacham, Aluf, Vegaon, and some are accustomed to do so for all deceased relatives; Ramban; Rokeiach 316; Mavor Yabok; Nitei Gavriel Vol. Cremation Funeral Ideas: Prayers, Poems, and Bible Verses [308] The Rebbe was witnessed to follow the former custom upon visiting the grave of his brother in-law, the Rashag, by the first Yahrzeit.[309]. Other opinions regarding if wiping the hands removes impurity: Some Poskim suggest that perhaps even wiping the hands on an item, such as a stone, can remove the impurity. 195:19 in name of Chamudei Daniel; Chayeh Adam 3:38; Aruch Hashulchan 195:28; Kaf Hachaim 88:12; Kitzur Dinei Taharah 3:25, The reason: This is due to the impurity found in a cemetery which can attach itself to the woman during Nidda. [435] For the full details of this subject see our Sefer Awaking like a Jew chapter 4 Halacha 4J! [261] All the blessings that are said over the sight of an item [i.e. Upon lighting the candle, one is to say, I am lighting this candle in merit of the soul named so and so. [As soon as the Rebbe reached the part in the Maaneh Lashon of Hareini Madlik Halamp, the Rebbe would light a candle.
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