muslim wife lied about being a virgin

And I know for real you are never paranoid or having insecurities. The lying to cover it up was wrong as well. So for the OP in this scenario, I would ask: Do you value this relationship enough to change your standards? No one is lucky enough to escape the patriarchy, and as such the mentality that female bodies are there to give pleasure as opposed to receive it is a long- standing one. This man was a foreigner and not somebody I, as a good Muslim girl, should ever be with. Brother needs to get a grip, people on this forum have actual problems, noone in the right mind is going to encourage you to divorce your wife, as it seems you want, if that's is what your going to do, then you'll have Allah to answer to Just to add, brother needs to stop telling porky pies, your first post states you asked your wife 'openly' in regards to her virginity, now you have backtracked stating you never questioned her in regards to this, you just both 'knew' remarkable powers you possess. Dear Annie: Finding out my wife lied about her sexual history forever I naively thought not to let down a sister for no proof or big reason.I ignored the belief and picture of my future wife that I held for many years. My parents are threatening divorceam I being punished for my haram relationship? Or is it actually a result of the Shaitan casting doubts (waswasa) into your mind to spoil your marriage and cause husband and wife to separate on absolutely baseless grounds? I am sorry for being long on these questions. You are not inclined to resolve the problems because you are holding her past against her. We all have a past as human beings. Do you think the solution to that incompatibility is to lie? My fiance thinks I'm a virgin, but in reality, I am far from it. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world" (I Peter 5:8-9). I met this girl which so many people discouraged me and to a point someone told me that he has slept with her before. Before you want to educate me, you might want to read ALL of the brothers post. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The barrier-breaking romance of a Pakistani woman and an Indian man has led to criminal charges and nationalist intrigue. I have a few questions to ask you. And let her know that as much as she shows enmity regret and hate to her past, the faster you will get over it and be happy again.. We had a relationship but he married another. Are you not chaste yourself? Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. As for the DATING word:I am from a culture you can talk to a potential wife but wouldn't play foul with her.In our conversation of ideal spouses, I emphasised my preference for someone who is virgin that's when I politely asked her.It also came up in our routine conversations and my question was always politely asked without demonising anyone. Finally I have a faith in Allah's decree. I have gone through many of your articles and answers, but still, I am doubtful on the exception clause of Matthew 5:31-32. The bride said she was a virgin. I lived my life to the best I could and protected my chastity. Let time heal this thing. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? don't let this evil shaytaan keep coming to you over this ridiculousness, put this issue to bed and get on with your life, i'm sure your becoming depressed because you can't let go, try to look at this issue objectively and you'll see how silly it is, maybe have a heart to heart with your wife and vow to never discuss it again. She s a lier. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I would suggest you deal with this situation as best as you can before you have kids with her. You can turn to people and get a variety of responses and this is good because we are to learn good judgement. How the hell am I ever going to find a partner if I never date? I don't think it is a lose-lose. I love my Muslim boyfriend but he already has a wife. Virginity in Islam - All you Need to Know as a Muslim 32 Muslim Wife Duties for Her Husband Reviewed by Yuli SE., MM by SariOctober 26, 2017 After marriage, there are certainly rights and obligations of both partners, in order to create a family with sakinah, mawaddah, and rahmah. My husband refuses sex. We have consummated four years of marriage. I don't have respect for the girl neither her parents The Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: "The most perfect in faith amongst believers is he who is best in manners and kindest to his wife." 6 Marriage is also viewed as an act of worship to God (Allah). This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I am not unforgiving - as this may be a reason for me to go to Jannah whilst covering up the faults of another Muslim - but I am more concerned about her future.For instance, if she doesn't want to change or continue to be oblivious of the magnitude of what she did or my mind fails to accept this, considering that kids may join in the picture.That's why I am interested in learning a lot from those who have had similar situations. No, asking such question is not permitted in Islam. the fourth night I confronted her and wept badly with my head in her lap. I am living the life of a prisoner with my husband. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Does I Timothy 2:8 justify clapping in worship? They have a good relationship. I wish the best for you brother and would request you to make up your mind swiftly and not linger things for her and you. There will lots of arguments. Sometimes, a virgin wifes vagina feels very tight during penetration at the time of her first sexual intercourse because of the presence of a membrane inside it called the hymen. However, it seems like you're judging her for what she did in the past. And just to clarify this further to you - forgiveness is between her and Allah. I am not a man who was looking for perfection in every aspect. I asked her about the situation and she confessed to have lied to me INTENTIONALLY and gave all types of excuses for her situation. when we've met I've told her that due to my religious belief, I would not marry any girls that is not virgin, so she was crying and told me that she wasn't a virgin because she was rape in the past. Boyfriend lied about virginity : r/dating_advice - Reddit They have become so tangled with one another that theyre now part of a single conversation. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. When you tell people what they want to hear- and it works- over time it can become their default method of dealing with conflict. She had implied that, like me, she had no sexual experience. For you to understand me more, there were so many things I accepted in her. The brother clearly has good questions which can be resolved if they communicate with each other, divorce should never be considered until there is very good reasons such as deliberate adultery ect, but what she did before marriage can be forgiven. These days, men want a perfect Muslim wife, and Muslim wife want perfect husbands, but nobody can be . He has been cheated and it is difficult to let such things go as when he may go through the act again . Brother thinking of a divorce is wrong. A sister, might throw some light, on ,, how possible could they loose virginity,, to avoid all the confusion. During our dates, I OPENLY asked about her virginity and she confidently insisted to be VIRGIN and chaste. practical islam - Is it appropriate to question a girl about her The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". 1 Alternatively, just as a bird is admired for its beauty, so was Zipporah admired for her loveliness. I promised her that we will never talk about her past life. May Allah inspire us with the right amount of love and fear and give us the good in this life and the next and shield us from the fire. And for the woman, I would ask: Do you value yourself enough to find someone that accepts you? Brother the point you are missing is, the sister lied because you asked her about a business that had nothing to do with you, it is HARAM to directly ask someone to uncover there sins, you were also not in honorable position 'dating a women' either therefore, you don't really have much of a right to be annoyed. You are both in sin and you both need to resolve the issues. In regards to your brother. Should a son always be near his elderly parents, or are there exceptions? "Christian Girls are only Meant for One Thing, the Pleasure of Muslim We dated for several months but never had sexual penetration with her. It is complicated choice .if you feel it is too much for you to tolerate then better to go for final stepI m surprised so long she was hiding her sins then why she opened up and told you about her past after martiage ? Is Virginity a condition for Nikah in Islam? | NikahForever Blog Those points are all i have in mind now, but there're surly much more things to do. My wife lied about her virginity. Can I divorce her? We all humans we all make mistakes I do agree with the good responses above but being a woman myself I see a lot of double standards from men who too are not virgins but still want a virgin wife even if they are not FACT. His girlfriend is not ready to marry in the church or community. Take care, So, here is some restriction for Muslim husband and wives while having the Marital relation. What she did was wrong. She also had ex-boyfriends and my brother is worried that she might him and go away one day. The Hanafis state that a known virgin woman who indulges in the act of fornication in private (hidden from the court and did not result in any consequential punishment) or who does not make it a part of her habitually repeated routine is a virgin legally. I remember watching this documentary about this man from Pakistan who raped a young boy, he too said he wanted such a wife, that reads quran etc etc. It goes on to stipulate that Muslims will be awarded with women in Islamic heaven. It does not store any personal data. Needless to say, it did not, and I found the entire experience more confusing than anything else. The aggressiveness you display in your answers somehow gives the impression of textbook feminist biasness. I am waiting for your reply. Be Attentive To His Signals. It doesn't make her a better woman. Being muslim and a virgin in western society is killing me - Reddit I was brought up Catholic and was told to wait until I was married to be intimate. It's about honesty, personal integrity & loyalty. He loves her & wants her, but those feelings of being duped and looking stupid will cause him to always keep her at arms length. As far as giving a detailed description of a prospective wife to someone is concerned, this can be done in writing: one of her mahram relatives (i.e. Thankyou for your message of support, its really kind of you, Nee worries, I won't be bullied into changing my views . If your wife had been happy with the other guy, she would have not left him to be with you. The judged/lying partner is put in the position of not being able to be herself. It needs to be broken for penetration to be able to take place. Is Allah disappointed in me? Florida couple charged in death of baby left in hot car overnight after if your going to commit Zina in order to get married, what place do you have to complain about your spouses history of the Sin you committed yourself. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. May be we are coming from two different cultures or backgrounds . 14 Importance of Virginity in Islam for Muslimah - AZislam.com . AOA. Receive notification whenever items are posted to this site: You can change your delivery preferences in your subscription dashboard. If you can't trust the person, and what they say, then it erodes the relationship. we've been together 16 years, 13 years married. She might not want any "legal formalities or records" but that isn't something to take pride in. When my wife of sixty years passed away, I discovered that I had been living a lie with a woman I didn't even know. I ignored all these feelings as being from Shaytan. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. As of my writing of this, I didn't accuse her of Zina -although I got to know of her things I don't want to share here as it's a public domain.
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